Hi, I'm in Detroit, by airport, till Monday. I'm here for a sword competition/get together. I'm not sure I'll have free time but just wanted to let ya know! I think Sunday may be a slow day for me. What days ya work and stuff?
I don’t work Sundays… Since the Detroit airport is not even near Detroit bit on Romulus it is a drive. But this is a dad I need to meet and if you have time Sunday I will drive down to have lunch. Because Tumblr dad’s meeting make the world explode.
I love you. In a completely platonic way. In an innocent way that I want you to be happy and I want you to find peace. We have far too much in common and it's not all of the rainbow fluffy sunshine stuff. I've struggled with addiction and am still recovering. Life fucking sucks sometimes. My anxiety eats me alive and other days I feel on top of the world. I feel so fucking immature sometimes and then other days I feel like I'm far more mature than I want to be. Just remember you're a good person
As an adult, hell as a parent we should have personal accountability and hold ourselves to certain standards. I’m not talking about standards set by society or others opinions of us but things that make us feel like we are good people and parents.
I’m failing at the commitments I have made to myself and taking it one day at a time is just day by day chipping away at me. May 1st I go to a new psych and will enter treatment. Making these appointments and creating goals is something to be proud of, but self destructive behaviors and thoughts don’t wait for appointments.
Being a good father doesn’t mean I can’t be a better one. I’m trying.
Parents at the park you don’t realize that my 2 year old is just big for his age. He doesn’t know how to completely explain that he wants to play with your kid. Don’t give him nasty looks because you think he is 4, because your judging will make your head explode when you see what his dad looks like.
Wednesdays for me are not great days. I work 12 hours with a total commute of 3 hours, thrown in my gym routine and I am away for about 15 hours to my normal 11.5 hours. I get my most cranky on this day, miss family the most, and become stressed out. Normally I allow myself to drink a little to relax afterwards so I have that going for me which is nice. I was up late last night looking at a lot of Easter ideas and thinking how I could make it fun and creative. I am neither of those things really though.
I won’t see my little buddy today because his bedtime routine doesn’t really fit my closing shifts anymore. So the nights I do see him I try and make fun, extra piggy rides, a little ice cream, and sitting on my lap discussing the latest dinosaur trends while taking selfies. Being a good parent working 60 hours a week is tough, but you have to make the moments when you can. Liam loves tents, so I am in the process of either finding one to go over his bed or getting a collapsible one for him to have some space of his own.
I’m still working on my patience, accepting myself, and letting other people in on my feelings. I’m going to make it all work because I want to be a happier person for the important ones in my life.
Was invited by my friend Matt last night to go to a 4 day Hardcore festival in Philly at the end of July. I am thinking about it, 5 days with some dudes I don’t know, in a city I’ve never been to, seeing a few bands I love, for pretty cheap. Maybe I’ll make friends… No, I’ll just see bands I love.